Tag Archives: Pfizer

The final seal…

There are times when these people just make me want to scream and run at them with sharp objects.. and then there are times when they make me point and stare at them.  Now they have reached a whole new level… I believe the not so politically correct term from our youth is.. “Retarded”!

Since once again I am forced to re-visit this issue, I must post another past blog to help refresh you once again of my plight … So please.. I beg you to bear with me.

Last year I saw this news story

FDA Approves 1st Drug for Obese Dogs

and I wrote an blog about it.Since it bears on my current topic, here’s a recap.


Proper Gander
a skewed view

I sit here today with my mouth open and my mind boggled. I’m stunned! No, I’m past stunned and entering into a whole new world of shock. I can’t believe what I have just read. What has me so flabbergasted you ask? I’m sure you’re thinking it must be Bush’s intention to increase the troop level in Iraq against the wishes of … Well, everyone. But no, there is something out there more staggering than that.

FDA Approves 1st Drug for Obese Dogs

WASHINGTON (AP) — Is your hound round? Too much flab on your Lab? Is your husky, well, husky? A new drug may provide some help.

The government approved the first drug for obese canines on Friday. Called Slentrol, the Pfizer Inc. drug is aimed at helping fat Fidos shed extra pounds.

“This is a welcome addition to animal therapies, because dog obesity appears to be increasing,” said Stephen Sundlof, director of the Center for Veterinary Medicine at the Food and Drug Administration.—-

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! This can’t be a headline on drudge, yahoo and cnn. We can’t really be so fucking lame, weight conscious and lazy that our scientists had to find a ‘doggie diet pill’ before finding a cure for something like….I don’t know… Cancer!

I love my dogs. I really do. The newest one, a fawn Chihuahua mix I got for my birthday has barely touched the ground since he came into my household. For Christmas I bought him a bright pink tutu to go with his leather studded collar. Cujo is the man in pink and leather! As much as I love him and Fatty, and as much as I spoil the shit out of them I will NEVER stoop to the craziness of diet pills!

Of course just by his name, you can tell one of my dogs might actually need them. Fatty is a cross between so many dogs that he looks like a lab/chow mix that’s had his legs chopped off at the knees. But he is the coolest dog I’ve ever had. He’s my ‘hippie’ dog. You’d think he was named for a blunt instead of a weight problem-HA~! but when he gets too ‘fatty’ I’ve learned a little trick that I am seriously considering patenting and selling online. Here’s what I do

1. Stop feeding him so much!

Fucking Genius I tell ya! Genius!

Come on people! it’s a DOG! It can’t eat unless you feed it! If it’s too damn fat then cut back on the food! I know we can’t cut back on the food ourselves, but Christ on a bike! Use some common frigging sense! Yes fat kids are a problem too but they make more noise than dogs do so we have to feed them Mc’Ds and KFC. Plus HRS gets all pissy when you only feed them once or twice a day. But the ASPCA is cool with you only giving Fido his one or 2 cups of food a day.

Stop the madness people! Let our scientist go back to real research on another dick pill. Tell Fido NO he can’t have another milkbone and get a ball and play ‘fetch’ with him! Hell you don’t even have to leave the couch for that because you just throw the ball and the dog brings it back to you!

I thought the Paul Mitchell shampoos and conditioners at my local “Hair Cuttery” was the most insane pet product I’d ever see. I’m sad to say I was wrong! Diet Pills for dogs! Fucking amazing! What kind of world are we leaving our children? Well besides a world with svelte dogs that have beautiful hair that is.


At that time I thought we couldn’t get anymore ‘weird’.. Plain and simple, diet pills for dogs is the reason they want to kill us.

I know, I know…It’s embarrassing to be associated with a species that is too weird to just stop feeding their dogs when they get fat.

It’s embarrassing to know all the other species are pointing and laughing at us.

Yes, this may be the reason they want to kill us. .. But I’ve always said  this isn’t the reason why we should let them. Sure we give our pets diet pills. Sure we can’t get enough news about a washed up pop princess and their random meltdowns. Sure we elected a buffoon  twice. But there is nothing out there reason enough to justify our extinction..

Hooo boy am I wrong about that. We’ve reached our summit. We can finally say “YES! we are too stupid to live! Please, put us out of our misery”

Are you ready..

Are you sure?

This will change your life…

Once you’ve read this you can never go back. You will always and forever know that we are… truly stupid. You will know that we should be wiped from existence before we infect the world anymore than we already have.

Suicidal pets get anti-depressants
PETS at risk of self-harm are increasingly being prescribed anti-depressants because they cannot discuss problems in their lives with others, a leading veterinarian says.



You see, there really is no hope for mankind…


…and you thought we couldn’t get any stranger… you thought .. “Oh yeah, diet pills for fat dogs and prozac for  suicidal hamsters is where even God draws the evolutionary line!” My friend, you were wrong.  It’s OK, I was wrong also. I never thought we could get any farther down the food chain, I never thought we would finally deserve to be farther down the food change… Yes, Dear reader.. I was wrong too.

Before I show you I need to make sure that when our Alien Overlords(yes, that’s a real link) come to enslave us that they know that I am not one of these people. These are not my species, but another… crazier, uh… ‘touched’ if you will, species that evolved separately from my species. Enslave them and I, along with others of my kind will help you throw things at them in their cages.

Pegetables The ‘vegetable’ treat for your dog.

There are just too many issues with this to list them all. I mean, seriously.. vegetables, that look freakishly like real carrots, corn and celery for Dogs!? We couldn’t just give them real carrots for their eyes, real corn for their fur and real celery for their urinary tract could we.. ? No! I wonder why that is? Oh, I know  BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING MEAT-LOVING-EATING CARNIVORES! So instead, we’ll give them a pretend celery stick that’s made with MEAT!

Now, either some idiot read the ‘FDA approves diet pills for Fido” story and thought “Hey, they just need a healthier snack like celery!” (which by the way, could be forgivable..) OR, and this is what really scares me, what I really want our Alien Overlords to remember the whole’ separate species’ thing for.. Or, a vegetarian/vegan/weirdo non-meat eater wanted to make their pet,or make it look like their pet was also a ‘vegetarian/vegan/weirdo non-meat-eater so they could stay ‘pure’ to their belief.

I was raised on the belief of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I just wish I had been told their names were “Celery”,”Carrot”,”Corn” and “Mixed”.

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